Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

Helicopter ride

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

 

Morris and his wife, Esther went to the State Fair every year. Every year, Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars … and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

A few years later, Esther and Morris went to the fair. Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter now, I might never get another chance."

Esther replied, "Morris, that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."

The pilot overheard the couple. He said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's 50 dollars."

Morris and Esther agreed — and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"

Morris replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Esther fell out, but 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
 

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A Son’s Love

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Narrated by Nina Christou

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply,
"For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the Money!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do from here."

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The advantage of learning a second language

Sunday, July 3rd, 2011

One day, mother mouse was crossing the street with her little children. She got halfway across the road when she spotted a cat crouched and ready to pounce upon them. The cat and Mother Mouse eyeballed each other for two or three minutes . Finally Mother Mouse opened her mouth and let out an enormous "WOOF". The cat quickly scurried away. Mother Mouse turned to her three little ones and said, " Now do you see the importance of a second language? "

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The Doorbell

Friday, July 1st, 2011

 

A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

The boy replies, "Now we run!"

 

 

Narrated by Nina Christou

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